the Pilot(i’m not)-episode 1|#BabaAdele
I have been off writing for a while, who wouldn’t be? If you aren’t getting paid to write, why write? Like a free write up would buy you diapers and the many things the baby needs, which no one warned me about. If you are looking for a typical sweet read or encouraging post, please stop now…I’d wait….still waiting…err…ok, you are still here? Let’s begin
Well, I did not become a father by mistake, naah I wasn’t one of em baby daddy forced to get married. I had my court wedding three months before my wedding so I could move into my own house and have uninterrupted sex. I think I remembered the exact sex that made me a Dad, there was no rush to pull out or clean up, and we just laid there and stared at the wall gecko on the ceiling, asking each other how it got in.
Oh then, the sweet wedding, dancing and tons of microwaves as presents, whilst my wife was in denial, I knew she was pregnant…”Emi Ekun”…I’m not a Snow, I am my Father and Mother’s child. So when the first set of strips showed my prowess, I was leaning in the bathroom door naked, letting my full view say “I told you so” and almost slipped trying to carry my thick madam from the bathroom to the room to “Top it up”
Fast forward to 7 months after, now fully bearded and had quit my day job to pursue my dreams and I had just slept 2am after finishing a client’s website and next wifey wakes me up to say “Honey, its time”…”Time for what? Biko let me sleep jare! And stop poking me with your inflated belly while attempting to cuddle from behind” And so she grabbed my belly flaps and pinched hard, this wasn’t a joke anymore and you needed to see me pacing around naked causing so much friction for my balls that it shrunk. Calling the Doctor and my in-laws and the same time trying to man up and not look like a weakling…momma dint raise no bih!
25 hours of Labour and some crazy ass maternity bill, I became known as “Baba Adele”…and No we did not just pick a random English name, we found out it was only Adele’s album that soothes her while she was swimming about in the womb, we had been calling her Adele since then. And oh my, was she cute! And has this heart melting smile that just gets to you. She’s taught me a lot that no book could, nothing could have prepared me for this feeling, not even the many baby videos and apps that madam stacked on my tab. I was more interested in watching videos on hair styling for girls and stuff like that. I’m not a conventional dad but I know there are some lines not to be crossed with kids.
Subsequently, we would talk about the daily moments and thrills in the life of “Baba Adele”. Till then, screw right, dig left but stay focused at the centre.